"Sorrow is one of the things lent, not given.
Joy is given; sorrow is lent.
Sorrow is lent to us for just a little while
that we may use it for eternal purposes.
Then it will be taken away and everlasting joy
will be our Father's gift to us, and the Lord God
will wipe away all tears..."
-Amy Carmichael
I read this quote on a blog that I've followed since last Winter- The Macs. Their little girl Cora died from cancer last winter after living on this earth for 341 days. The strength that the McClenahans have shown during these many months of grief has been an amazing testimony. I have so much respect for the way they have handled their loss. You can read their story here:
Cora's mom posted this quote recently and it really speaks to me. Obviously I like the part in the quote about JOY...we all want joy...I can't wait for the day when all sorrow is gone and all I have is JOY...I can't wait for the day when there are no more tears.
But in this quote, what really struck me is the part about sorrow. And not just the part about it only being temporary...but the part about it being used for eternal purposes. For some reason (I can think of at least a couple)...I feel sorrowful this week. As ALWAYS, I miss Angeliyah. I always do. And lately I've been dealing with some grief related to my miscarriage. It's been 3 months since my miscarriage...I'd be 6 months pregnant now. I can't seem to get that out of my head these days. The combination of the two is making me feel sorrowful. But sorrow is not necessarily a bad thing. There is USE in sorrow. It is not pointless. God can use anything. God can and does bring good out of sorrow. We have seen that in SO many ways. I don't know all the reasons why Angeliyah was born with Trisomy 13. I don't know all the reasons why she died. Only HE knows the reasons. But we have seen little glimpses of His reasons. We've seen good things come out of knowing and loving her...good in us and in others.
I pray that He will continue to use my sorrow to bring glory to Him...to do good in me and in the world around me. Angeliyah's short life was not in vain. We will not allow it to be in vain. God will not allow it to be in vain. Her life had and has purpose. This journey we have been on, and are still on, is not in vain. God is working through us even when we are not aware of it or not taking an active part in it.
For some reason, I felt motivated today to do something for Angeliyah. And of course, since Angeliyah isn't here...doing something FOR Angeliyah means doing something for somebody else IN HONOR OF or IN MEMORY OF her.
So...today after church, Raife helped me bring several more clay imprint kits to the hospital for their bereavement supplies. Such a little thing to do...but I pray it makes a difference for another mom out there like me. I love Angeliyah's imprints...I love tracing the imprints of her tiny hands and feet. They were so little...so perfect looking...11 fingers and all. It's amazing how something...or someone...so little could have such a HUGE impact on me. Angeliyah's imprints are one of my favorite momentos that I have to remind me of her. While buying and dropping off a few imprint kits at the hospital takes little effort...I know that God can use those kits to minister to the hearts of hurting families more than I could ever imagine...and I pray that they do help bring healing to someone...that they serve an eternal purpose.